I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
