hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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