Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
