I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
