You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
