This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
