I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
