we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
