All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
