I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
