O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
