We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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