Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
