You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
