There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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