Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
