Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
