I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
