Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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