I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
