This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
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Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Come on in and take your pants off
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