my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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