Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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