fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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