is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
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UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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