It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
try to milk me bitch
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