Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
