You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
