"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
