He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
