The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
