I'm really into asian looking animals
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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