i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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