I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
