Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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