Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
