I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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