Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
