so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
