if you like me you must not know who I am
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
