how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
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Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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