okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Ladies don't puke and tell
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
