Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
