So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
