something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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