hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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