Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
