My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
