id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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