At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
