I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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