I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
false alarm, still single
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
