What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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