So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Randomize
